My Baby

Yesterday a friend came over with her 3 month old.  I was soooo excited to hold the baby, but I was not good at it.  I held the baby like I was a teenager; like I had never seen a baby before.  I was scared she would wiggle out of my arms or I would drop her.  I had these same fears before Alexi; actually, way before Alexi.  Right before Jason and I got married I called him and asked if he thought I would be a good mom.  I was scared of being a mom.  He assured me he was 100% confident in my "mom" skills and I shared with him that I was 100% confident in his "dad" skills.  The funny part is, almost 6 years ago we had no idea what "mom" or "dad" skills were, but we were indeed...confident.  The thing is, we were just confident in each other.  Things just happen naturally, like getting engaged after only dating for a few months and becoming parents all of a sudden after wanting to get pregnant for so long.  When we held Lexi the fears were gone.  It happened.  We held her with confidence.  We knew how to hold her.  It happened naturally.  We became her parents in a blink of an eye.  We were the only two people who did not feel even a little bit awkward or scared when holding her.  My friend with the 3 month old and I talked about how parents just 'know' their children.  We know every little thing.  Every. Single. Little. Thing. And I guess, knowing every little thing makes us confident in being parents...parents to Alexi.

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