8/14/14

kindergarten

The days leading up to kindergarten were hard.  Ok, I'll be honest...the 2 weeks before were really, really rough for me.  So rough that I didn't sleep.  At all.  Maybe 2 or 3 hours a night if I was lucky.  I even had to go to the doctor to get a prescription sleep aid.  I wasn't anxious about Lexi being nervous because she wasn't.  She has been nothing but excited about school.  I'm happy with the school we have chosen for Lexi's education, I just feared the unknown.  What would this new normal look like?

The night before kindergarten we read Lexi a lot of stories about kindergarten that were given to her from the Harmon's, the Jeffery cousins, Grandma Mike, and the Lee's.  Lexi felt so loved and special with all the gifts she received to help celebrate this milestone.



Going to bed that night I was at peace with this new chapter beginning in our lives.  On Monday (the day before the first day of school) we invited two of Lexi's best friends (Addie and Lucia) over for a swim play date.  The girls had a wonderful time and while we were walking them out Michelle and I were talking about how strange it is that our 2 babies are going to kindergarten already.  Michelle also stated that we are extremely blessed that our children are well enough to go to school.  Michelle mentioned that someone she knows is currently sitting by the bedside of her three year old daughter on hospice.  I thank God every single day for Lexi's health and ours, but this really put things into perspective for me.  We are incredibly blessed to be able to send our healthy daughter to kindergarten and for this I am grateful.

On Tuesday, August 12th we woke up bright and early for the big day.  Jason took the day off and we all piled in his truck and headed to POP.  When we pulled into the parking lot I teared up a little bit, but I tried to hide my emotions from Lexi.  The campus was buzzing with first day of school excitement and anticipation.  The kids were smiling, backpacks and shoes were shiny, and binders were filling lockers.  This made me smile.  Every student was happy and excited about the first day, including Lexi.  We walked Lexi into Mrs. De's classroom and she was ready to go (and for us to go also)!



Jason and I spent the day together to celebrate our 9th anniversary.  We had a great time, but the day moved a little slow.  We were so anxious to see Miss Lexi after the first day that we arrived at school 45 minutes before the bell rang!  Once 3:15 hit the clock we were in the car rider line to pick her up!!  Lexi said she had a great day and was excited to go back on Wednesday!  She loved her teacher and having two of her friends in class from last year. She also mentioned she hasn't learned anything though and everything they have said she already knows. Maybe we should give it more than a couple of days before they start teaching you history and literature, sweet girl.  ;)

Today is day 3 of kinder and it certainly does not feel normal yet.  This morning I dropped Lexi off in the car rider line instead of walking her in and I've had nothing but mommy guilt this whole morning. We hugged and kissed before she got out of the car and before the door shut she just looked at me and said, "I love you, mom."  I had to drive away as she walked into the school by herself (teachers are there at the car rider line and throughout the hallways).  This was the first day EVER that Lexi walked alone without me to her classroom.  Each school day from MDO to PK Lexi and I have held hands and squeezed 3 times for "I love you" while walking.  I'm so sad we didn't feel our squeezes this morning.  I keep checking my email to see if there is a note from the teacher about her being sad.  I pray she wasn't sad that I didn't walk her to her classroom.  Oh, it would break my heart if she was sad or nervous walking down the hall before school.  It is only 10:15 am and I have to wait 5 more hours to check on her.  THIS is the not normal part.  We are still getting used to waking up before sunrise, but setting an alarm 5 days a week is normal.  I guess it is also normal for school aged children to be with their teachers for more hours of the day than with their parents.  I don't think I will ever get used to this "normal."  For 5.75 years I have been within arms reach of Lexi.  Last night Lexi and I were snuggling and at 3:30 am she woke up and asked if we could snuggle tighter.  She wrapped both of her arms around me and put her face next to mine.  I was hot and not in the most comfortable position, but that didn't matter.  I wanted her to feel loved and comforted.  She knows she can always come to me because I have always been with her.  We have shared every emotion together and it's my job to always make her feel loved unconditionally.  I wish I could be with her right now to make sure she knows how much I love her.  I pray this day goes fast and I pray for all the moms and dads who have to wait longer than just a few short hours to see their children again.  Being apart from Lexi is difficult, but I am thankful I will hug + kiss and play Barbie dream house (my least favorite thing to play, but I will play with bells on today) with her soon.

*When I picked Lexi up this afternoon she was all smiles!  She had another great day and asked to do the car rider line tomorrow morning!!  She was not upset or sad at all!  I am so incredibly relieved!!!!! I did ask if I could still walk her in some mornings and she said yes.  My heart is so full and happy right now!!

1 comment:

Michelle Harmon said...

She will always remember your three squeezes and will probably pass it to her child. Love you girls so much my heart could burst.